If I were a guy…

The inspiration to write this article came when I was being (literally) tortured in a parlour because my dear mother wanted me to look ‘presentable’ on my brother’s wedding (horror, right?)

So, here are a few things which would not have happened or would have happened in a different way if I were a guy:

1.Starting with the obvious, I wouldn’t have to bleed every month and those unbearable cramps would finally end!


Also, I would be able to donate blood anytime I want (just in case you did not already know, you cannot donate blood while bleeding and also the week following it)

2. My driving abilities won’t be doubted, even if I dented my car, father’s car, my brothers’ , my neighbor’s, my uncle’s (particularly everyone in my knowledge who owns one).


3. I wouldn’t have to wax almost my entire body just so I can wear shorts/anything revealing my under arms, legs, arms without hearing “You have got more hair than me ’’ from guy friends.


4. I wouldn’t get shocked reactions from people on my love for Max Payne, Dragon Ball Z, Asphalt, Skillet and Iron Maiden. (Seriously, its very annoying that people think these are ‘mardaana’ things)


5. I could go a month without taking a bath and not worry about my hair getting oily or my ‘hygiene’. B-)


But, now that I think more on this topic, following things would have happened definitely if I were a guy:

6. I would get slapped a lot for singing Butterfly (by Crazy Town) in public or for just breathing in particular.


7. I would have to pay the entire bill every time I took a girl-friend/relative out for lunch or shopping.

images (2)

8. I would be schooled very badly for losing 2 phones and my family, most probably, would have thought I sold them for weed/alcohol or used them to repay some gangster.

When you know you are in deep shit...
When you know you are in deep shit…

9. More than 1 hour on laptop with earphones on and I am pretty sure my mother would think I am watching porn.


10. One wrong move and I would be ‘just like every other guy’. In short, one look at the wrong place, one gaali at the wrong time/to the wrong person, one wrong prank and I would be kamina, kutta, desperate, harami, etc etc. Also, one display of emotions and I’ll be gay forever.


11. My brothers won’t have any sister i.e there would be no pampering. I am pretty sure I do not want that.



4 thoughts on “If I were a guy…

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