If I were a guy…

The inspiration to write this article came when I was being (literally) tortured in a parlour because my dear mother wanted me to look ‘presentable’ on my brother’s wedding (horror, right?)

So, here are a few things which would not have happened or would have happened in a different way if I were a guy:

1.Starting with the obvious, I wouldn’t have to bleed every month and those unbearable cramps would finally end!

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Also, I would be able to donate blood anytime I want (just in case you did not already know, you cannot donate blood while bleeding and also the week following it)

2. My driving abilities won’t be doubted, even if I dented my car, father’s car, my brothers’ , my neighbor’s, my uncle’s (particularly everyone in my knowledge who owns one).

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3. I wouldn’t have to wax almost my entire body just so I can wear shorts/anything revealing my under arms, legs, arms without hearing “You have got more hair than me ’’ from guy friends.

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4. I wouldn’t get shocked reactions from people on my love for Max Payne, Dragon Ball Z, Asphalt, Skillet and Iron Maiden. (Seriously, its very annoying that people think these are ‘mardaana’ things)

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5. I could go a month without taking a bath and not worry about my hair getting oily or my ‘hygiene’. B-)

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But, now that I think more on this topic, following things would have happened definitely if I were a guy:

6. I would get slapped a lot for singing Butterfly (by Crazy Town) in public or for just breathing in particular.

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7. I would have to pay the entire bill every time I took a girl-friend/relative out for lunch or shopping.

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8. I would be schooled very badly for losing 2 phones and my family, most probably, would have thought I sold them for weed/alcohol or used them to repay some gangster.

When you know you are in deep shit...
When you know you are in deep shit…

9. More than 1 hour on laptop with earphones on and I am pretty sure my mother would think I am watching porn.

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10. One wrong move and I would be ‘just like every other guy’. In short, one look at the wrong place, one gaali at the wrong time/to the wrong person, one wrong prank and I would be kamina, kutta, desperate, harami, etc etc. Also, one display of emotions and I’ll be gay forever.

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11. My brothers won’t have any sister i.e there would be no pampering. I am pretty sure I do not want that.

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4 thoughts on “If I were a guy…

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